Deep Ocean
by ForGranted
Summary: Haruhi Yukimura was a happy child, but once she reached age 17, she just changed. Especially after the accident, she seems to have lost herself in worry and fear. Now she is trying her best to get better, no matter how hard it should be. Maybe meeting the people from the small town Iwatobi might just be what she needs.
1. Chapter 1

Her dark brown hair was still damp from her shower, one strand neatly tucked behind her ear and the rest falling over her shoulders, chaotically. People often described her brown eyes as muddy puddles or chocolate and she never could understand the connection between the two, just that she agreed with them.

Her large glasses rested on the bridge of her nose and her eyes focused on the small words on her computer screen, scooting towards the time mark from time to time and a sigh escaping her moderately plump lips every time they did.

What was the point of sleep anyway? Who cared if she went to bed at 10pm or 5am.

Soon her alarm started to vibrate and a loud, annoying beeping sound signalized the time she had to wake up. As Haruhi stood up, she slipped her headphones off and shut down her computer before wandering to the kitchen and gulping down two glasses of water and a pill.

The bitter taste of the pill spread through her mouth and she felt like she had swallowed a rock whole as it was sliding down her throat.

She almost winced when she looked at the mirror. Just the thought of existing and being strange left a unexplainatory pain in her stomach.

She wanted to be left alone and be invisible, but that would only be possible if she fit into the group.

Her backpack kept slamming against her back as she ran towards her school. She was going to transfer to Iwatobi and would have to pick up her old books. She didn't care if people were staring at her. Usually she would shy away, but today was a good day and she wanted to feel comfortable, so she decided to wear a dress instead of her uniform.

No matter how long or short, or what colour the dress was, as long as they were cute, she was happy. On this day she wore a white dress that reached the top of her knee. A thick red ribbon tied around her waist and another one tied around her hair. It was simple and made her feel like a little girl.  
Cute clothing had an effect on Haruhi that she couldn't explain, but she loved it. She adored the frills and the lace and the free feeling and how she could run without any fabric pressing around her legs. Haruhi felt free.

It only took a few minutes and she was far away from the old gates with a filled backpack and a smile she just couldn't help.

* * *

One train ride later and was already moving towards a new enviroment.

Standing in front of her new school never felt as nerve wrecking as it did in that moment. No matter how many times she changed something in her life, she never felt any better.

Crowds of people flowed past her, towards this large building where they would one day graduate and proceed to work with other people. It all felt so pointless.

"That's such a cute dress!" a girl with short black hair exclaimed as she spotted Haruhi, pulling her out of her thoughts "But I don't think we're allowed to wear that, we have a school uniform." she added hesitantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I will wear my uniform from tomorrow, I'm afraid I forgot to pick it up." Haruhi tried to smile

"I'm new by the way. My name is Yukimura Haruhi." she held out her hand.

"My name is Tanaka Kotomi."

"I absolutely adore your uniform! It looks so cute on you, Tanaka-chan!"

Kotomi blushed and looked away shyly "Thank you, Yuki-chan."  
Haruhi smiled, it was nice to have a nickname. Friends called each other nicknames and maybe they had a chance of becoming friends.

"Do you know in what class you are?" Kotomi asked

"I'm afraid not yet."

Haruhi knew Kotomi wanted to ask something, but was trying to hold it back.

"Don't worry, I know you want to ask something so go ahead." her eyes lit up

"Oh, it's just I was wondering why you would transfer in the middle of the year." Haruhi's smile vanished when she heard the last syllable leave Kotomi's mouth, "I'm sorry, do you not want to answer that question or-"

"No, no! It's fine," she forced on her best smile "My parents got a promotion and decided to move here, so I had to transfer."

That was a lie. She was a stupid liar and it hurt knowing that.

"I'm sure you miss your friends, but I can show you around if you want."

"That would be so nice! We can be friends, right?"

"Of course, Haruhi-chan!"

She walked behind Kotomi who seemed rather popular. People greeted her and smiled at her and she would occasionally stop to talk to them, before continuing towards the administration.

The door ahead looked large, but maybe it was just because she was afraid of the people behind the door.

"Go ahead, knock on the door. I'm sure they won't be angry that you aren't wearing your uniform."

Before Haruhi could knock, a young woman opened the door and almost dropped all her folders.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." Haruhi felt absolutely terrible as she bowed in front of the woman. After what felt like an eternity the lady laughed and put her hand on Haruhi's shoulder, but retracted it when the student flinched.

"Don't worry, no harm done. Is there something you need?"

The young woman was so kind and beautiful, it made her heart feel lighter. "I am looking for my teacher Miho Amakata. I just transferred here today."

"You're a student?" the teacher observed Haruhi "I'm sorry, I couldn't tell because you aren't wearing a uniform."

"She forgot to pick it up, Miss, please don't be mad!"

She giggled and shook her head "I'm not mad, don't worry. It looks like you just caught me then. You must be Haruhi Yukimura. A pleasure to meet you."

After a quick introduction, she followed her teacher to the class. The students were awaiting the teacher and stared at Haruhi as she walked in. She felt ill just standing in front of the class.

"Good morning everyone, this is Yukimura Haruhi. How about you introduce yourself to the class?"

She felt her heart pound as some eyes looked up, while others were impatient or annoyed.

"M-my name is Yukimura Haruhi and I am 17 years old. I just moved here, so I'm afraid I don't know a lot about Iwatobi."

"Does anyone want to ask Haruhi a question?", Miss Amakata asked when she realised Haruhi's silence.

Nobody was raising their hand or even seemed interested in the slightest. Haruhi felt the heat rise to her face. She hated standing in front of everyone. Especially strangers.

"Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

"I just forgot to pick it up. From tomorrow on I'll be wearing the uniform." she smiled at them, but most stopped listening after they had heard her name.

"Well then, Haruhi, thank you for introducing yourself," Miss Amakata looked around for a moment "How about you take a seat next to Tachibana Makoto, Haruhi? He's currently the best in my class and I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping you out."

Haruhi looked around the class until her eyes landed on an olive haired boy. He looked tall and had wide, muscular shoulders, intimidating the girl.

Miss Amakata started calling for attendance as she walked over to her seat.

She stiffly sat down and greeted him, before focusing on taking out her school books.

"Welcome to Iwatobi, I'm sure you'll love it here-" she flinched in shock and the class stared at her as she almost fell out of her chair.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she cried out, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

After a few seconds, the lesson continued, some people gave her a couple of glances, but not for long.

Makoto didn't try to talk to her anymore and she was glad. She was scared and embarrassed and she couldn't focus anymore. Haruhi managed to not be invisible. She stood out like a cottage in the city and she hated it.

"That was it for today. Please finish reading the chapter and complete the exercises listed beneath it." Haruhi packed her things as slow as possible, waiting for everyone to leave, as well as Kotomi.

"Haruhi, could you please come to me," she stared at her teacher before walking to the front desk, "I noticed that you don't seem very focused. The school administration has mentioned that you were in an accident, but they didn't specify." Haruhi felt the tears swell up, "If there is anything you need, please feel free to come to me."

She wasn't listening anymore. She was focusing on the familiar movement of her lips. The familiar words that so many had repeated before her.

"Thank you, Miss, I'm just tired from the trip. I moved in yesterday and it was a hassle, but I'll be trying my best as soon as possible. Have a nice day, Miss Amakata.", she smiled at her teacher with the best smile she could bring up and left the room.

* * *

Haruhi avoided Kotomi for the rest of the day. Although she was glad she had made a friend, or was close to making one, she didn't want to embarrass Kotomi any further. She stopped searching for the school's exit when she saw Makoto again. He was next to a black-haired boy, the same boy he was sitting next to in class.

She tried walking passed them, but the black-haired boy stepped in front of her. She felt her heart stop and her knees grow weak as she peered up at him.

"Join the swim club.", she looked at his hand and saw a small wooden figurine.

"I'm sorry- Yukimura-chan?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not a very good swimmer. I enjoy it but I'd only be a burden to your team." she tried to back away and leave.

"Not at all, please at least accept our mascot." Makoto inquired getting closer. He was so much taller than she had remembered in class.

She slowly took the bird out of the black-haired boy's hand "It's cute, does it have a name?"

"Iwatobi-chan." she smiled at it and he grunted, satisfied.

"I'm sorry Haru-chan stormed at you out of nowhere." Makoto seemed a lot sweeter and calmer now that she was actually talking to him.

"It's alright, I wasn't planning on joining a club, but I'll take a look, if you don't mind."

"You will?" Makoto sounded amazed "Thank you Yukimura-chan! We need more members so it's perfect if you would join us. You don't have to be fast, it's about having fun after all."

She felt overwhelmed when another two people ran over to them.

"What happened Mako-chan?"

"Yukimura-chan is considering joining the club."

"She is!" the blond boy grabbed her hand tightly. She froze and stumbled back, ripping her hand out of his, barely stopping a scream.

"I'm sorry, I really need to get home. Thank you for the offer, I will consider it!" she called out.

"Is something wrong-"

Haruhi never let him finish that sentence. She just did what she did best. Run away from her fears.

Once she was at a safe distance she slid down the wall, looked at her hand and let out a long sigh. She would need to get over her fear. Not everyone was out to hurt her, but she couldn't help it. She felt vulnerable like a little pot covered in cracks and every touch could make her crumble.

"Yukimura-san, is something wrong?" her head shot up

"I just felt ill for a moment, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Nagisa-chan can be a little too enthusiastic at times and it is overwhelming for others." he squatted down and took a look at her "Should I bring you to the nurse? You look really pale."

She shook her head a little and looked up at him "May I ask something personal?," he nodded

"Why is it that you all have female names?"

"I guess our parents liked these names, I'm afraid I never really asked myself that. May I ask you something too Yukimura-chan?" he looked at the ground hesitantly when she nodded.

She waited and watched him bite his lower lip before finally speaking.

"Why did you get a shock when I spoke to you earlier?" his sad eyes glanced at the ground for a moment, before locking with hers. "I noticed you tried to avoid me in the hall. Did I do something wrong?"

Haruhi felt her heart sink. She hurt him, she could hear it in his voice.

"You don't have to answer it of course, I was just wondering." a small smile appeared on his lips. She couldn't help but stare at them.

He started to stand up, not expecting an answer.

"I was scared of you." she finally whispered.

His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock "Scared of me? Is it because of my size or a vibe - I'm so sorry, Yukimaru-chan! I should have been more considerate-"

"N-no, Tachibana-san! It's not you, really. You didn't do anything wrong, I swear. I'm just-"

Wrong. Strange.

"-scared of fast movements and loud noises sometimes. It's probably from the little sleep." she smiled and hoped he would believe her.

"I see." Makoto smiled again and chuckled, though it seemed like a genuine smile this time "I'm glad I didn't do something wrong to scare you. I'll be more careful in future though." he was so calm, something she had missed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you, Tachibana-kun." she looked at the ground

"Don't worry, how about we head to the swim club for now so that you can decide if you want to join?", he placed his hand on her shoulder.

She wanted to pull away again, but resisted the urge so she wouldn't upset him more and clutched her hands together instead

"That would be great."


	2. Chapter 2

She stared at herself in the mirror. The marks still were there and they probably would be there forever. A constant reminder of everything that happened. Her fingers traced the border between the new pink skin and her normal skin.

"Haruhi?"

"I'm coming in a moment, sorry!"

She quickly removed her garments and pulled on the swimsuit she received, before slowly treading to the pool.

Haruhi stood still for what felt like an eternity and stared down at the water. "Does she like water?"

"I'm sure of it, Haru. Right, Yukimura-chan?"

She looked at their expecting eyes "Y-yeah, I really like water. It's just-" she paused, trying to explain herself

"I'm not all too good at swimming, I'm rather into running, but I'm sure it's fine."

She felt uncomfortable as they all watched her get ready for her swim.

"Can you swim?"

"O-of course I can swim!" she looked at the distance she had to swim "I'm just nervous to swim in front of you guys. I mean you are probably professionals and I'm-" she shook her head in shame.

Haruhi closed her eyes and reopened them when she jumped. The wind blew in her face, she felt alive again, even if it would only last for seconds.

Her hands carved into the soft surface as the water engulfed her in one gulp.

Once she felt her heart calm down she pulled herself forward with a few breast strokes. Occasionally she came up for air and submerged again.

After a few laps, she was out of breath and had to hold the edge of the pool.

"So, do you like it?"

Haruhi jumped when she heard the woman's voice, "Miss Amakata?" The girl stared at her young teacher in shock "Yes, I love it. It is so refreshing, but I don't think I can support the team, considering they want to go to competitions and I am so slow and then they'll have a harder time finding competitions-"

"Calm down, dear, we are still on the look out. For now we just want the swim club to be official and we need one more member." Miss Amakata bent down and held out her hand for her student.

Haruhi thankfully grabbed her hand and got out."What do you mean with 'we'? Are you part of the swim club?"

"Just the supervisor, but you could say that. Who do you think you got the swimsuit from?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll wash it and return it-"

"No!" the anger in her teacher's eyes only lasted a split second, but long enough for her to know something was wrong "I'm sorry. It looks lovely on you, you should keep it. Just to bribe you." she winked at Haruhi who needed a moment to get over the shock.

The thought that she wouldn't be the only girl reassured her a bit, even if her teacher wouldn't join on a swim.

She patted herself dry and shivered when a cold draft passed them "It's good that you try to build a relationship with your classmates, especially after your accident."

She lowered her eyes "It's alright, really, nothing serious happened."

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken."

Haruhi didn't understand what she was talking about, but smiled and nodded.

Training ended rather fast and everyone seemed exhausted. Haruhi couldn't help peep at the members once or twice.

"It has been a long winter. It's amazing that you all could swim in this icy water." Miss Amakata muttered as she watched her students get out of the pool. "I wish you all a good night and Haruhi, I hope I'll see you here in future."

Only then did Haruhi realize how cold it really was. She felt shivers go through her entire body. She ran into the girls dressing room and felt her teeth chatter.

She stepped into the water and goosebumps spread across her body as the cold water poured over her. She bit on her lip and washed herself instead of increasing the heat.

After she got dressed again and dried her hair, she expected the others to be gone, but they all seemed to get out at the same time.

"You're still here, Haruhi-chan." the blond boy who turned out to be Nagisa said.

"I'm sorry, I took a little longer to dry my hair. I don't want to catch a cold." she paused and looked around for Miss Amakata who had already left. "Why are you still here?"

"We just discussed a few things."

"Like what?"

"Mackerel recipes."

It was the first time after hours, that she had heard Haru speak. It made her feel special that he even bothered to talk to her. He seemed rather reserved.

"That sounds good. I wouldn't mind a plate of some right now." she rubbed her tummy and felt it grumble quietly.

"Practice is over for today. We should head home for dinner."

They all seemed to be headed in the same direction like her. She thought she had gotten away from people for that day, but it didn't seem so.

"So you are in Mako and Haru's class, right?" her train of thoughts was interrupted

"Yes, I just started today. To be honest, I was pretty nervous, but you guys seem nice."

"Always in such a good mood." she closed her eyes and smiled

Soon the group dispersed and in the end it was only her and Makoto. The tall boy still intimidated her. He wasn't just tall, he had muscles and was in good shape from all the practice.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no. I just was thinking."

"Do you live far from the school?"

"Not really, but I don't mind the walk. It's also closer than my old school from my old-"

Home.

He turned his head to her when he noticed her quieten. "House."

"That's good." he exclaimed.

It felt strange to talk to someone outside of school.

"When did you get into swimming, Makoto?" she couldn't help but watch him swim during the practice and he was skilled like no other she had seen.

"When I was rather young. It's been years, I never really gave it a thought. Swimming feels so natural to be in my time schedule, especially with Haru and Nagisa. How about you?"

"My parents taught me." she shivered at the thought of the icy water.

"Are you cold?" before she could answer she had his over-sized sweater wrapped around her. The sudden movement made her flinch, but soon the warmth surrounded her.

"Thank you." she felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she looked away.

"No problem, wouldn't want you to be sick on your second day of school."

Something about him felt so comforting. It was strange and yet naive of her to trust someone so fast. Even if Makoto Tachibana seemed to be caring and calm, he could have other sides and she didn't want to take the risk.

Or maybe she did.

He perked up when she held onto his arm.

His reaction lead her to instantly let go. "Sorry, a stupid habit of mine." her voice became a mere whisper and she turned away again.

"A habit?"

"I've always held onto someone, I guess it became a habit after I got lost for the hundredth time."

He chuckled and stopped.

Haruhi felt nervous. Why did he stop?

He lifted his arm, she could feel the blood drain from her face as she shrunk away. His hand softly landed on her head and he patted it a few times. "I hope you don't mind?" she shook her head slowly.

"My little sister loves doing that too. Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes," at least she had them long ago "-two sisters and a brother."

"I also have a brother, but they are both 10."

"That's nice, they must be adorable."

"Yeah." he smiled fondly, as if remembering them.

It hurt thinking about her siblings and knowing she wouldn't be able to see them again.

"Come on, let's go." he held out his hand and waited for her "Unless you feel uncomfortable?"

She couldn't help but smile and take his hand.

"Thank you, Mako-kun." they slowly walked until they reached her house.

"So I'll see you tomorrow." she waved at him happily in response.

"Be careful though. Have a good night."

As she reached into her bag for her keys, she realized she had never given him his sweater back. She held onto the soft fabric and looked towards the direction he had gone to, but it was so warm. She told herself she would return it another day and stepped into her house.


	3. Chapter 3

"Haruhi, are you home? How was school?"

She slipped off her shoes and walked into the kitchen. "Hello, it was alright."

He smiled and sat down "That's great to hear. Have you made any friends?" she nodded and yawned, stretching her arms and legs out.

"I joined the swim club."

He gave her a surprised smile "Really? That's great. You should do as many activities as possible. Stay in action."

"Yeah, the club is really great. They accepted me even if I'm not a great swimmer."

"What do you mean you aren't a great swimmer? Are you trying to imply that I am a bad teacher?"

"No, dad, I promise." he laughed and gestured for her to sit down

"Tell me about everyone."

Haruhi smiled and sipped from the tea that already was on the table.

"Well, there is Miss Amakata, my homeroom teacher who is also the supervisor of the club. I haven't met the manager yet, but apparently she is really nice too." she took a large gulp and poured another cup of tea.

"Then there is the captain Makoto who is the kindest and sweetest person in the world. Nagisa who is hyperactive and loud, but really friendly and optimistic. Lastly, there is Haruka who seems to be more infatuated with water than anything else." she giggled at the thought.

"They seem nice. Keep the positive people around you, alright?" he paused for a moment "Maybe you can even invite them over someday? Like a sleepover, or what do people your age do?"

"No idea." she smirked "So when is Mom coming home?"

"Late again, but she'll be home all weekend, so you better get ready for loads of presents from your wonderful working mother," he briskly stood up and grabbed a pot "-and get ready for the super food from your super stay-at-home dad." the delicious smell filled her nose and she couldn't help but snuggle up to the sweater.

"Oh, who's that from?"

"Makoto gave it to me for today. I felt kind of cold."

"Oh." he eyed the sweater suspiciously and then continued eating from the large pot.

"I'll return it soon, just need to wash it."

"Sure, don't shrink it."

"Dad, you've taught me how to wash things from t-shirts to pots to anything."

"And you always manage to destroy something sooner or later." he remarked.

She gave up as he was right, even if she would never openly admit it.

That night she decided to sleep sooner, even if she rolled around most of the night, she felt better than when she had stayed up the day before.

The next morning came by faster than expected. She groaned when her alarm rang and dragged herself into the bathroom. After the usual morning routine and eating a couple slices of bread, she headed towards the front door.

Her eyes widened when the familiar boy stood before her.

"Good morning, Haruhi-chan." her mouth opened, but she was speechless.

"G-good morning, Makoto!" she cringed at her own high-pitched voice.

She heard footsteps behind her "Oh is Makoto here-" she turned around to see her father's surprised face once more.

Haruhi looked at him and finally understood his confusion. Everyone had female names. He would never allow a sleep over with a single guy. He thought the club members were girls.

That's why he was so suspicious about the large sweater.

"Good morning, Mr Yukimura." Makoto smiled uneasily as her father stared at him.

"Morning." he stared at him a little longer "I almost forgot, Haruhi you should give him his sweater back." he held out a bag and she quickly grabbed it and waved goodbye before kissing her father on the cheek, and storming out of the house.

That was terribly awkward. "I'm sorry, my father doesn't usually act like that." she whispered, holding her bag tightly.

Makoto smiled and held out his arm again. She gladly took it. "I think he isn't used to my classmates picking me up from home."

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if I should pick you up, I just was on my way to Haru's and then I saw your house and thought I'd wait a minute or two."

"Haru's house?"

"He usually sits in the bath and skips school."

That was surprising. He seemed more like a focused and smart person. Was he in such need for water?

"That's nice of you."

They walked in silence until they reached a few steps.

"You can stay here or go ahead, I'll just get him."

"I'll wait here." she sat down on one of the steps and watched him climb the long staircase.

As she watched him, she noticed a white kitten walk over. He stroked it lovingly and continued up the stairs.

She adored cats and would never let an opportunity like this one slide. With patience and her best sneaking skills she slowly stood up and climbed up the steps on all fours.

"Hey little one, don't be scared."

She slowly blinked and clicked her tongue.

The cat lifted it's head and happily strided over to her, rubbing it's white fur against her arms.

She sat down and let the cat climb onto her lap.

"You are so pretty. Do you have a name?"

The cat just purred and rubbed its face against her.

After a few minutes, Makoto emerged from the house with Haru.

"You waited, sorry it took a while."

"No problem." she smiled and looked down at her lap.

"Is something wrong?"

She shook her head as he walked over "I see you've met Yuki. I already thought you were upset, hanging your head like that." he smiled and stroked the sleeping cat.

"Anyway, we better get going." she slowly lifted the cat from her lap and stopped it from jumping onto her lap again. A sigh escaped her lips when a patch of fur remained on her skirt.

Her father would yell at her for sure.

"Looks like you have a new admirer."

"Am I stealing someone important?" she smiled back at the cat who watched the three of them depart.

"I'm willing to share. The cats love Haru because he always feeds them. So sharing with one more person won't hurt."

Haruhi looked over to Haru who seemed to be deep in thoughts "That's so nice of him. I tried to feed a few cats once and then brought the bowl into the house and then we had all the ants in the world in the kitchen."

"When did you do that?"

She blushed in embarrassment "Last year."

"Well, we grow wiser through our mistakes."

She felt her face heat up "It wasn't the first time."

Makoto laughed and lifted his hand again to ruffle her hair, she flinched as always. She still had a long way, but she felt like she could trust him.

A week went by faster than expected and soon enough, she was heading home with the usual group. Kotomi had avoided her.

"So what are you doing today, Haru-chan?" she turned to Nagisa, not sure who the question was intended for.

"It's for you, I'm Haru-kun." Haru muttered

"Oh, I was planning on studying and having dinner with my father."

"That sounds like no fun!" she shrugged, watching the pebbles crunch under her feet.

"Haruhi-chan!" the blond chimed up "How about we visit you? We usually all head to Haru-kun, but it can be some sort of Haru agreement. The Haru-meetup!"

She couldn't help but giggle at the idea "I'm afraid I'll have to ask my father first, he's rather strict."

"What about your mother, I'm sure you can bribe her."

She shook her head, "I'm afraid she's currently on a trip, so no luck." she smiled, this time sadly and as always when she got upset, her voice turned to a whisper. She avoided Haru's gaze, he was the only one who seemed to notice right away.

"No fair! Well then, how about we head over to Haru-chan?"

"Don't call me chan."

"I really need to get home, my father will be worried."

"Why don't you just call him?"

"I don't have my mobile with me."

Nagisa pouted "Haru-chan!" he stretched her name out "Why don't you want to spend time with us?"

Haruhi lifted her head in shock "I never said I don't want to spend time with you all, I just can't." she almost teared up at his accusation and it got worse when Nagisa put on his best pouty face.

"I'll ask my dad if I can come tomorrow."

Nagisa smiled victoriously, his sad face instantly vanishing. "Great!"

Haruhi kept her hands in fists and kept her gaze on the ground as she went to the back of the group. Her eyes stung. "I never said that.", she whispered to herself.

"What's wrong, Haruhi?" Makoto walked next to her, but she kept staring at the floor.

"Is everything alright?" Makoto asked quietly, she nodded in response. He held out his arm and she hesitantly held onto it.

"It's obvious you aren't alright. You can tell me anything.", she looked up at him and finally said, "I would love to believe that."

The others didn't hear them.

"I bet Haruhi doesn't want to spend time with us!" Nagisa exclaimed loudly to provoke the girl.

"Alright Nagisa, don't make her cry.", Makoto said calmly. She felt the blood boil inside her as she ripped her hand away from him and pushed him away.

"I am not going to cry!" she snapped.

The olive haired boy took a step back and stared at her with wide eyes. He hadn't expected her to yell at him, nobody did.

"I'm sorry, Makoto-kun!" she covered her mouth and stared at them. Even Haru seemed surprised at her outbreak. "I didn't mean to snap at you! I just- I-" she shook her head and reluctantly took a few steps back.

"I'm sorry!" she took off as fast as her legs could carry her. She just wanted to get away.

"Haruhi, is something wrong?"

Her father held her as she burst into tears inside the house.

"I did it again." her voice cracked and throat felt as if it was swollen. She tried to swallow down the knot, but just felt like suffocating.

"It's alright, baby, I'm here." he loosened his hug and brought her to her room. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

She shook her head and rolled up into a ball under her cover and sobbed "I don't deserve it." she croaked.

"Don't say that dear. We can discuss it once I got you some tea."

She didn't answer, but he went anyway.

Her body felt weak, she felt so sick.

"It's alright dear." he hugged her carefully.

"How about you take a nap? I know you haven't been sleeping a lot lately."

He left the cup of tea on her nightstand and left the room. Her bed was soft, but so cold.

After a few hours she felt someone sit on her bed. She reluctantly opened her eyes and smiled at her father.

"So what happened?"

"I was walking home with the other club members. Nagisa really wanted to come over with the others." he furrowed his brows.

"Did he try anything?"

She hectically shook her head and rubbed her eyes, slowly sipping the new cup of tea he had brought her.

"I just explained I had to ask you and then he asked if I could bribe Mom, I just said she is on a trip." she paused and took a deep breath.

"And then?" he knew where this was going.

"He wanted me to go to Haru's place and I said I had to go home, but he tried to guilt trip me." she wiped a few fresh tears away "I said I would ask if I could go tomorrow."

"That's good."

"I know, I did what you told me to. He just accused me that I didn't want to spend time with them, but you know how hard I get friends, Dad, it distraught me and Makoto noticed." she gulped the rest of the tea down.

"He told Nagisa to stop before I start crying and I shoved him away. They all looked so scared!"

Her father nodded knowingly and stroked her head "It has been a stressful time, how about you rest a bit? I can call the school tomorrow, just rest."

She was too tired to nod and dozed off, her eyes felt heavy and shut within seconds.

"Haruhi, do you want to go to school today?" she shook her head and rolled under the cover.

"I'll call the school, just sleep."

After a few minutes she heard her father's voice again, but it wasn't towards her or the was a second voice.

Haruhi crawled out of her bed and to the door of her bedroom.

"How dare you do this to her?!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened-"

"Look, I know what happened and I appreciate it that you stopped your friend Nagato-"

"Nagisa."

"I'm sorry, Nagisa, from going any further." he cleared his throat and Makoto stayed silent.

"She just is different. She has been through a lot and then even more. Please stay away from her for now, until she feels ready to talk to you again."

She's just different. How many times had she heard him say those words?

She is fucked up would have been more accurate, she thought to herself.

Makoto didn't answer, but she could imagine him nodding. "Thank you, I'm very sorry. She won't come in today. Thank you very much for checking on her, Makoto. I'm sure you are a nice young man."

"I just wanted to make sure she was alright. Thank you, Mr Yukimaru. Have a good day. Please send her my regards."

She heard the door shut and slid back into her bed, when the sound of footsteps got louder.

"Haruhi, are you awake?"

She nodded slowly.

"Your friend just came over. Makoto just wanted to know how you were."

She nodded in response and turned to him "Was he angry?"

He smiled softly and shook his head "Of course not, you just had one of your outbursts again. Nobody was hurt."

"Thank you, Dad, I love you." she slowly stood up "I changed my mind, I'll go."

He watched her in surprise but nodded happily. "I'll pack your breakfast."

She rushed to school feeling more elated than usual; nothing could upset her today.

She stopped when she saw Haru and Mako on the other side of the road.

His eyes widened when he saw her. "Haru-chan!"

Haru looked over at him annoyed until he noticed her too.

She ran over to them with a smile. "Good morning, Makoto! Good morning, Haru!"

Both of them greeted her "How are you, Haru-chan? I visited earlier, but your father said you'd stay home."

She nodded "I'm fine, I didn't plan on coming until I realised I felt better than I had thought."

He nodded and held out his arm as always and she gladly held onto it.

"I'm really sorry for yelling at you and shoving you, Makoto."

"Don't worry about it.", he smiled kindly, even if it was clear that he wanted to know what set her off. She smiled at him, but decided not to tell him.

Today Kotomi was sick and even though Haruhi hadn't spoken to her ever since the first day, she felt like something was missing the classroom.

Some of the girls kept looking over to Haruhi until one of them finally walked over to her "Yukimura-chan! Would you like to visit Tanaka-chan with us today?"

Nobody ever did something like that for her. They probably thought she was skipping school and they weren't exactly wrong.

She agreed to join them after swim practice. Some of the girls kept whispering to each other, their quick glances not going unnoticed.

"I have to leave early, Miss Amakata."

Her teacher turned to her with a stern look.

"I am going to visit Tanaka-chan with some of the other girls."

She nodded, "But I don't want you to miss too often, all right? I take this very seriously.", Haruhi thanked her and ran to her changing room. As she rushed out, she ran into Haru.

"I will see you tomorrow, Haru!"

He nodded, but stopped her from leaving just yet. "Stay safe."

She thanked him and met up with the other girls.

The group of girls was bigger than expected, making Haruhi nervous.

"Everyone here? Let's go!", the apparent leader of the group had long dark blue hair and strict black eyes. Her hair was tied to a neat bun and she no longer was wearing her uniform, but a pencil skirt and a white blouse.

"Something wrong?", she sent Haruhi a sharp glare.

Haruhi just vigorously shook her head, "You look very nice today.", she finally said after a break.

"Good."

The way to Kotomi's house was long and tiring, as she seemed to live on a hill. She was rich.

"By the way, Yukimura-chan, why did you join the swim club?"

Haruhi shrugged, "I don't know. To be honest, Tachibana-san almost forced me."

"Don't you think it is inappropriate for a girl to throw herself at boys like that?"

Haruhi stared at her in shock, "I am not throwing myself at anyone. He asked me to join and I accepted."

"You also keep going home with them!", one girl muttered and the rest of the group giggled.

"Our homes are in the same direction."

"And they see you in a swimsuit almost everyday! Do you share a changing room?"

"No!"

"Oh guys, she's going to cry."

"No!", she snapped again, but this time somebody was harmed.

The leader held her cheek in shock, which now was red and had three scratches.

"Dari-chan, are you ok?!"

Everybody was shocked, "I am fine, thank you. I think it would be better if you left now, Yukimura."

Haruhi nodded, shocked herself and ran in the opposite direction. The group of girls chattered loudly, watching her run away.

Once she got close enough to her house, she wiped her eyes and made sure she still looked fine.

"You are late, Haruhi.", her father looked pissed off.

"I am sorry, I decided to-"

"I already know! One of the mothers just called to complain. According to her daughter and many other girls, you suddenly had an outburst!"

Haruhi shook her head, "That isn't true!"

"She sent me a picture! You hurt someone! Imagine if they filed a lawsuit?"

"They were picking on me!"

"That is no excuse!"

Haruhi shut up and stared at the floor.

"Why did you even go without my permission?", he was fuming and she was scared, "You know how unstable you are."

She wiped away her tears, "I just wanted to make some friends. I wanted to be normal."

He sighed and shook his head.

"Well you aren't, the sooner you understand that, the better."

Her father was out for the day and left her alone with a mobile and some emergency money.

She wanted to go out, but her father asked her to stay home. She felt like a little child.

Haruhi twirled the pen in her hand and looked around. She wasn't stupid, but after skipping school so often, she just couldn't keep up with the work.

She jumped when the doorbell rang, the pen falling to the ground and rolling under the table.

"Coming!" she crawled under the table and reached for the pen and picked it up.

She let out an annoyed sigh and stood up too fast, knocking over a small table.

She ran to the door. It couldn't be her father, he had his key and their secret code.

"Sorry, I had to pick something up-"

She stared ahead of herself. Nobody was there. All she saw was a stack of school things and some candy, all nicely placed in a basket.

A small note rested on the pile of books.

She looked around, but saw nobody.

Slowly she carried the books to the living room and slowly took out everything.

It didn't take long for her to realise that it was the work she had missed that day.

She took the note and read it aloud "Dear Haruhi Yukimura, we hope you get better soon! We decided to give you a basket full of things you might like."

She smiled at the signatures.

"The Swim Club." each name was written around it. Nagisa's signature was fast and sketchy, she could hardly read the pink scribbles. He had drawn a pink penguin next to his signature. Makoto's signature looked careful and precise. The cursive writing was in green. _Get better soon_ was written beneath it.

Lastly, there was Haru's signature. It was simple and easy to read. She smiled when she saw the drawing he had made for her. It was so pretty.

She put the note away and looked through the other things. She laughed when she saw the same figurine Haru had drawn. _Take care of her._

She slowly took off the ribbon around the bird's head that was attached to the smaller note.

"Looks like you will accompany me, Iwatobi-chan!"

The door of the house opened long after she had finished her work.

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back." she called out before biting into her pocky.

Her father stopped walking and stared at the basket and stack of work.

"Where did you get all that?"

Haruhi passed him a stick. "The swim club brought this basket."

"They came to the house?"

She nodded "But they just set the basket in front of the door and left." she paused "I guess they still want to give me some space."

"That's good." he sat down and looked over her work. "I see you've been busy."

"I'm planning on returning tomorrow."

"That's a good idea." he smiled and went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat.

"I made some soup already. I hope it isn't too salty?"

After a while he returned with a steaming bowl and ate it in silence.

"I visited your mother today."

"But she-"

"Your mother." she knew what he meant, her face grew pale. "How is she?"

"I just told her to stay away again, the usual."

She felt herself shiver. "Thank you."


End file.
